More Like Neo Geo F

Hello all. Today I wanted to tell you a story about the worst purchase of my life: the Neo Geo X.

As a kid, my buddy introduced me to emulators and ROMs. With our slow internet connections, we’d download our games, which were all usually Japanese SNES games. I fondly recall playing Gundam and Dragon Ball Z fighters, previously only available in Japan.

A few months later, my friend told me about the Neo Geo. Our quest to play Neo Geo games was slow because the ROMs' file size were so huge back then. Luckily, a friend burned me a couple of CDs loaded with basically every Neo Geo game, and thus began my love for this arcade machine/console. Samurai Shodown and Metal Slug were my jam.

Fast-forward to the end of 2012: I hear that the Neo Geo X will be an affordable way to play Neo Geo games on your TV—at about $200. Compare this to the price of some Neo Geo cartridges—hundreds of dollars—and this is a steal. I started reading about it, which only hyped myself up. A handheld, preloaded with 20 games, and a way to play it on your TV? I was sold. The only thing was it was hard to find in my neck of the woods, or so I thought.

Then on one unfortunate, rainy afternoon, Sean and I headed into EB Games and I spotted the monstrosity and purchased it. The clerk even had a tough time ringing it up—a sign I should’ve taken into consideration. Sean voiced his opinion and was hesitant to express any happiness about the new purchase. He clearly was the smarter one that day (he also pawned his copy of Assassin’s Creed 3 on me a few minutes prior).

I get back home and open up the packaging, and let the handheld charge for a bit. Once I booted the sucker up I noticed something—the handheld is super light. There was literally no heft to it. It felt like a kid’s toy—the front of the device was made with 1 piece of cheap plastic that would flex with the slightest push. This is when you realize why Nintendo is the king of handhelds—they build solid devices.

Moreover, the screen was piss-poor. Yes, I understand the games don’t run in high definition, but the screen was a cheap LCD that didn’t reproduce the colours all that well. It was a 16:9 display, but the games are all 4:3. They give you the option to stretch the game to 16:9, but it truly looked ugly. Another real half-assed attempt.

Look at those amazing black levels!

The buttons on the handheld were alright. The USB controller was really good. The ability to output to your TV was cool too, but some people say that it’s not perfect.

Here’s the kicker—the handheld itself is just an emulator, preloaded with ROMs. There’s nothing special about it: it’s loaded with Linux, an emulator and 20 games. Who in their right mind wants to pay $200 for an emulator?!? I can get the same experience on any computer, and output it to my TV!

Minus the USB controller, the Neo Geo X was a big waste of money for me. The handheld’s LCD screen was iffy and the material quality was poor. What I could’ve done was buy the USB controller and simply play it on any computer. The picture quality would’ve been perfect and the cost would’ve been minimal.

Overall, I got to pay $200 + tax for an experience very similar to the one I had as a kid (a free experience back then, mind you). If my math is correct, I believe this purchase was based on the fact that I was 99% stupid when I entered EB Games that awful day.

In the end, I sold my Neo Geo X on Craigslist at a loss. A kind man was happy to take it off my hands for about $150. I hear that it’s out of production now, so it’s probably worth more nowadays, but I truly couldn’t give a damn. Good riddance to that pile of junk.