Rejoice And Own Spelunky, Now Available On PS4

Rejoice and own Spelunky. Impose ownership on it using your money, because this is the only way that you will triumph over it. Spelunky will lull you into thinking that it will offer you a casual play session with an unassuming, endearing hero: His soulless coal eyes, indifferent eyebrows, and mesmerizingly bulbous nose suggest that he wants you to help him find some Mario coins in a cave. But in truth, he is meant to die a million deaths, each traumatic. You will develop fears of pots, of snakes, of yeti, of water, of the dark. Maybe one day you’ll even conquer the first level. When this happens take note, because the rest of your life is an agonizing downhill plummet from this monumental achievement.

So rejoice at Spelunky, because it is now available on PS4 in 1080p.  And remember the days when you thought you were good at video games. Because those days are illusions.